Monday, August 31, 2009

Random TMI #1

I saw that relevent married guy from My Sexy HotWife had answered a bunch of the same non-TMI Tuesday TMI questions answered by Blue-Eyed Vixen. I liked most of the questions, so I decided to answer them and post them here.

1. Is there anyone on your RSS Reader you would have sex with?
  • This question originally asked about those on my "blogroll," but I don't typically read blogs that way. I use my Google Reader, but the answer is an emphatic "yes."
  • Annette Schwarz would top my list. She is so naughty it makes my head spin. I would do so many things to her that no other woman would even joke about allowing me to do. We're talking the roughest and "grossest" sexual practices here.
  • SlutWife Oasis is high on my list, too. She is the type of woman that any depraved husband like me would like to call "wife," particularly because of her deep love of lots of different bareback cocks cumming inside her.
  • Voluptuous Val has a face that I would die to see hovering over mine as it twists in ecstasy. And her body's incredible.
  • Shameless Angel is ultra delightful, but I think my desire to make love to her is mainly to let her know that she is so hot exactly the way she is. (She oftens worries about being too fat, and it breaks my heart. She's so fucking sexy.)
  • There are many others that I see and read about via my Reader, but these beautiful ladies above have blogs and therefore qualify for this list.
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
  • My hardest cums definitely happen in the afternoon, unless I've been dreaming all night about someone. Then the morning cums are quick but furious. Night cums tend to be lackluster in their force, but I seem to last much longer.
3. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
  • Yes, but not from drinking too much alcohol. I had a flu and thought I could make it to work. After pulling over twice to spill my guts, I gave up and went back home to nurse myself back to health.
4. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
  • No, but I was once employed by an escort agency to do so. However, the company never had any requests for male strippers while I was available for them.
5. Shower or bath while having sex?
  • Shower, definitely. Bathtubs are rarely big enough to accommodate sex with someone of my height. Now, hot tubs on the other hand are pretty tops in my book.
6. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
  • I definitely favor aggressive partners. In terms of male lovers, the more aggressive they are as a top, the better. In regards to female lovers, well, too much aggression turns me off when it comes off as phony. True aggression is my favorite.
7. Do you love someone on your RSS Reader?
  • Again, this originally asked about those on my blogroll, but the answer is "no," but only because I haven't engaged in enough dialogue with those on my reader to usher in a love connection. The closest one I would come to loving, methinks, would be Annette Schwarz. Sometimes I like to imagine that we are married when I masturbate to her.
8. Love or Money?
  • Love, hands down. I'm too damned sappy not to answer this way.
9. Credit cards or cash?
  • Huh? What kind of a question is this? Uh, cash is king, isn't it?
10. Have you ever wanted a best friend?
  • If this means have I ever wanted to have sexual relations with a best friend, then no. Of course, in a way, I have sex with my best friend all the time... my wife.
  • If this means have I ever wanted to have a best friend, well, I have one in my wife. However, I don't have any real close friends and have recently stated to desperately want a best friend that I spend lots of time with and to whom I disclose pretty much everything in my life. Anyone in the Rogue Valley want to be my friend?
11. Camping or a 5 star hotel?
  • Depends on what I'm planning on doing. Both have their value. With lots of sex planned, I would prefer a hotel for the facilities and privacy it affords. If it's to be loving and to have occasional sex, then camping is tops. I love lovin' in the woods.
12. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
  • What is "weird"? I'll define this as the least likely place to have sex. There are all sorts of sea mounts on the beach of Bandon, Oregon. In one such rock formation, my wife and I found a large enough crack to climb into and fuck in. My wife faced out of the crack, watching the ocean as she leaned her body forward and I fucked her from behind in a standing position. Just as we exited the crack after finishing, someone passed us with their dog.
13. Would you shave your entire body (including your head)?
  • No. Missing eyebrows are creepy and bald heads are so not sexy to me.
14. Have you ever been to a strip club?
  • Yep, but I'm not a fan of the places. For someone reason, women approaching me and asking if I want lap dances makes me uncomfortable and denying them makes me feel like a creep.
15. Ever been to a bar?
  • At nearly 37 years old, you'd think I'd have been in at least one... which I've been in a few, but I'm definitely not the "bar" type of personality. I'm just not that social and don't really enjoy drinking that much. Not to mention, "bar talk" annoys the fuck out of me. Just a bunch of people talking through each other.
16. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
  • Heh, yes, from the Crazy Horse strip club in Anchorage, Alaska, on my 21st birthday. This hot Asian stripper kept putting her foot on my shoulder and my wasted ass couldn't resist licking her ankle. She begged the bouncer to let me stay, that she didn't mind, nay, that she liked it, but he still bounced my ass. My uncle tried to convince her to join me in the car to give me a birthday fuck but the bouncer caught wind, sent her back to dance and kicked the rest of the crew out.
17. Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?
  • Ugh, a few too many shameful times. I've had my moments when it comes to belligerent drunkenness.
18. Had sex in a movie theater?
  • Yes indeed. We went to watch a movie and no one was in the theater. Needless to say, we got in a quick poke. My wife also usually holds and strokes my cock while it's in my pants during most movies.
19. Had sex in a bathroom?
  • More times than I can count, although never in a public restroom, well, at least not one in a highly trafficked area.
20. Have you ever had sex at work?
  • Yes. Once with my wife while working at a Little Caesars and once with a lover/co-worker while working in a publishing house. I swear there was another time, but I can't remember it right now. I've also jerked off in the bathroom more than a few times at least once at most of the jobs I've ever had.
21. Ever been to an adult store?
  • Uh, yeah. But I typically get in and out, just as I do with any type of shopping. I generally don't go into any kind of store without already knowing what I want.
22. Bought something from an adult store?
  • Some novelty items and once I got a DVD, but mostly, I go to adult shops for lube.
23. Have you been caught having sex?
  • Yep, most often by my sons while with my wife. We usually just freeze and play off like we're cuddling. They give us those "yeah right" eyes in response.
24. Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
  • I'm not sure. I'm usually on the other side of the camera during pictures of this nature, so not many naughty pics exist of me. My wife and I were the cover image for a local swingers mag published some years back, so some folks might still have that image kicking around.
25. Ever had sex with someone and called them by the wrong name?
  • Yes, both accidentally and intentionally.
  • The accidental time went off much smoother than it could have, as the name I spoke was close enough to something sexy.
  • The intentional times are all with my wife when we roleplay fucking others or when I just want to be degrading. She gets extra wet when I tell her, "I'd so rather be fucking [NAME] instead of you."

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