Saturday, October 2, 2010

Railing against the Railing against "Looking for a 'real' woman"

I can't remember exactly where I read the article. Probably on Em and Lo, or some other top sex column blog. The article focused on things that guys on dating sites should avoid in regards to the content of their profiles.

Most of the items were sound. A couple I disagreed with:
  • Don't write that you're looking for a "real" woman.
  • Don't post pics of your penis entering a vagina without a condom.

Don't post pics of your penis entering a vagina without a condom.
The article stated a valid reason for not including such a picture. It sends the message that the guy doesn't use protection and sets him up to be viewed as a likely source of one STI or another. That's all fine and good, but it presumes that the guy wasn't in a monogamous relationship with the woman getting bareback fucked.

I posit that showing such pictures, however, is better than posting ones with a condom...That is, if the guy generally refuses to use a condom. By posting images of himself bareback fucking, he's being honest and setting up the expectation that a gal can expect that he'll try to slip in sans condom any chance he gets. Better to know that from the start, n'est pas?

Don't write that you're looking for a "real" woman.
As I recollect, the article writers rail against guys saying that they're looking for a real woman because they presumes those guys mean "not superficial."

While there may be some merit to the writers' position, I think they misinterpret the meaning of these fellows' conditions.

Spend a week reading the posts in Craigslist's Casual Encounters section, and the true meaning of the request for a "real" woman will be more clear. So many of the w4m posts are made by some spammer trying to drive traffic and potential customers to a paid membership webcam site.

In my region's Craigslist, almost 90% of posts in the w4m section are just such spammers. In many cases, it may be a guy posting some scripted item. In others, it may be a woman genuinely attempting to beef up her webcam revenue. Sure, those women may be "real," but their stated intentions are not.

Dating sites are no exceptions. Although the administrators of dating sites are a bit more diligent about making sure their members are legitimately seeking a sexual relationship, there are still a fair share of women who use the site to bait guys looking for a real life lover.

It is precisely because of all this misleading that so many men state on their dating site profiles that they want to find a "real" woman.

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