Sunday, May 22, 2011

Conflicted Feelings #2 – Cindy from Germany

This post was written in late January 2011 at a time when I knew that my lust for Cindy from Germany was beginning to wane. I wanted to capture the hold she had on me before it was lost forever. Months have now passed and my desire for her has vanished, but I feel it is personally important to chronicle.



There’s this fun site called Dressed Undressed (dressed dash undressed do t co m), where you can vote on which state of dress you prefer a specific woman – clothed or naked. The site often features multiple pictures of the same women and all are from visitor submissions. That’s how I met Cindy.

My “Relationship” with Cindy


Cindy is a super-scrawny red head from Germany who screams of deviant potential. I suppose that sentence neatly sums up my conflict.

Cindy is really thin, especially when you consider how many pounds the camera is supposed to add. My preference is for BBW. At this time last year, I was infatuated with Buxom Bella, a professional BBW pornstar who is also a redhead. I find it ironic that a year later, I’m “fucking” (via my Fleshlight which I mastered during my Buxom Bella hey-days) another redhead who is very much the inverse of Buxom Bella. And damn, does Cindy ever get me hard.

Whenever I would check my RSS feed before work, there was another shot of Cindy. After that, I spent most my time thinking about all the dark and dirty things I’d do to her if she were mine.

For days, I itched to make a collage of her. I needed to spend time creating something with her as the focal point. She had become my muse. And I couldn’t quite grasp why she aroused my dark and dominant recesses. So, I made this collage:


As I worked with the pictures, I grasped a full understanding as to why she inspired me so much. In most of the photos, her face contained little to no joy, with a very important exception.

Cindy Loves Being a Fuck Toy

The dirtier the photo, the happier Cindy seemed. Take a look at the centerpiece of the collage I made. Those words on her torso FICK STUCK are German. “Fick” can mean fuck, bang, or poke – all in the vulgar sense – and some of the very many things “stück” can mean include piece, item, scrap.

In English? Fuck toy. Piece of meat. Anything along those lines. If the word curled off on her one leg is also “fick,” then it’s definitely “fuck toy” as her legs say “fuck me.”

And there it was. My answer. I liked her so much because she looked happiest when she was being full-out degraded. She is exactly the kind of woman I like.

Many SPLAT!’s Add New Insight

While making the collage, I made a slide show to fuck my Fleshlight to. As I fucked her, that center picture always got me, and I would imagine treating her like a complete fick stück. By the time I’d get her, she’d have made her way up the stairs to fuck most of the neighbors, some twice.

At first, that was dark and fun. But then as often happens, I started to draw comparisons to my wife. Then I realized that aside from her head, broad shoulders and innie pussy, she has my wife’s body. I’ve spent a lot of time encouraging my wife to be the fick stück waiting on the stairs in invitation to all those around us.

Cindy’s Cute Quirks

I adore Cindy’s big ears and the general shape of her face. She has a real pixie look minus that not-so flattering pixie hair cut. Much of her reminds me of Liz Vicious. (You know, my last conflicted feeling post?) Unlike Liz, though, I masturbate to Cindy.

Her thin frame, which to me is a quirk as I prefer beefier babes, also adds to the ragdoll factor. The thought of tossing her around…? I’m hard right now just thinking about it.

My Conflict

If it weren’t for the looks of joy on her face in pictures like the one in the center of the collage, I’d feel bad about lusting after her. One commenter on Dressed Undressed called her a “sour-faced bitch.” I can’t really argue with that assessment, as she doesn’t have too many happy shots.

She’s usually frowning or looking generally peeved. For awhile, it felt as though she weren’t happy about conceding to her boyfriend’s insistence that she pose for these pictures.

That’s when I would feel most conflicted about how much I got off to her pictures. My conscience tends to get the better of me, forcing me to lay off the “exploited.” Between her body type and the sour look that screamed “exploitation,” my conflict meter was off the charts.

Then some extra deviant shot would appear and she beamed with joy. In fact, the more deviant the picture the wider her smile, the more she beamed, the more my conflict dissipated.

My Resolution

I continue to masturbate to Cindy on a somewhat regular basis. Most of the time, I picture a delectably sexually abusive relationship. In a D/s sort of way, always pushing her to where I know she wants to go.

Until I tire of throwing down my Fleshlight pillow and imagining that I have Cindy pinned flat beneath me, my hands curled around her front to grab her by her groin and use her like the fick stück she is, Cindy is my latest muse and cum fodder.


Follow-up (22 May 2011):
Shortly after I finished writing this past in late January, Cindy stopped making appearances on Dressed Undressed and with her absence, my cums to her faded away into oblivion.



For Cindy’s sake, I hope that her absence on the site is due to the end of a one-time only chunk of photos sent to the site owner. If she stopped showing up on the site because of the jerk who said shitty things about her every single time, I want Cindy to know that she’s hot and should not let that asshole stop her from posting her pics online. I miss you, Cindy. <3>

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