Sunday, June 26, 2011

Why I Dislike It # 6 - Anal Is Only Pleasurable for Him

When women declare that anal intercourse is something they do for their men and not for themselves, I have to scoff.

“Okay, mister,” the female half of a couple says mid-coitus, “If you think it’s just another hole let’s see how much you like it.” Then that’s all she needs to say. Her guy will usually immediately redact his request.

This is not an uncommon scene. I’ve heard it in battle-of-the-sexes type conversations that break out between couples at parties and bars. I’ve seen tweets from women along these lines. Most women will prop anal sex up as the most special of all forms of intercourse under the pretense that anal sex always results in a painful experience completely lacking of pleasure for the one taking it in the ass. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Misconceptions about Males

Typically, those women who challenge their men to take it in the ass if they think it’s no big deal are coming from a purely heterosexual perspective. However, the proposal is almost always a sure way to kill the debate. If a dude is not willing to take it in the ass, then why should she?

Oh, if only I kept track of how many times I’ve witnessed the sudden death of a man’s expressed desire to fuck his woman up the ass after the “you try it” argument is evoked; I wouldn’t have enough digits to keep track.

Here’s something many women don’t understand: a great many men love it in the ass.

They don’t even need to get off via their cocks. They just want to get fucked hard and long up the butt. No reciprocation needed or desired. Check out the m4m section of Craigslist. In my region, at any rate, 90 percent of the postings are from bottoms seeking tops. At least half of these are looking solely to get fucked in their ass.

The fact is that men and women both have assholes. It’s the same exact equipment for both men and women, with exception to the presence of the prostate for males. This means that the experience of anal sex, unlike vaginal sex, is a shared experience devoid of gender bias.

Push Past the Discomfort

The first few times that a person takes it in the ass are generally not pleasant, but the same can be said for vaginal sex. With very few exceptions, women consistently recount their first time as painful, but with repeat performances, it got better. Much, much better. Ecstatically better.

I remember my first few times playing with my asshole. It wasn’t pleasurable. It hurt, but I knew that there were plenty of people out there who loved the feeling. Still, all that I experienced was massive discomfort and the overwhelming urge to crap and piss. After time, though, the sensations abated and I started to enjoy the experience.

Recently, I came off a five-year anal play hiatus. My asshole was born-again virginal, and I was reminded of just how uncomfortable anal sex can be until the muscles grow accustomed to penetration.

First comes the sharp tearing sensation as the object pushes in through the sphincter. It hurts. I won’t attempt to deny it. But once the object passes the sphincter, the receiver feels a distinct and relieving pop, followed by an extreme loss of breath and rapid rise in temperature.

Next, a familiar sensation overcomes the recipient: the urge to defecate. This is perhaps the most off-putting aspect of untrained anal intercourse. The colon squeezes down and out, against the advancing object. It’s a literal battle with one side (the object) wanting to gain ground and the other side pushing against the advance.

In the beginning, the colon takes control and the recipient has no recourse but to suffer through the false sensation of an intense crapless crap. I admit, it’s a bit like suffering from severe constipation, where you know that you have to crap but it just won’t come. Or even better, it’s like those times when you’re sitting on the toilet, you’ve filled it, know that there’s no more, but your asshole continues to spasm as if it’s just getting started.

Okay, okay. Enough of the grossness. When I talk about the sensations of anal in this manner, I understand why people think it’s too disgusting to engage in. But here’s the thing: Once you get past this discomfort, your asshole will open wide and ask for more.

It might not happen the first, second or even fifth time around. Eventually, though, your colon will relax and thoroughly enjoy the feeling. You just have to keep pushing through the discomfort.

Self-lubing Is a Reality

In the world of anal intercourse, two pieces of advice are generally given by those from whom it is asked: prep and use plenty of lube.

Using lube during the first few times of anal intercourse is a great way to ease the discomfort. I won’t argue against this advice. However, lube isn’t actually a requirement. Sure, if you allow the giver to just push his way in you without any prep, you’ll want to have him lube up before penetration, even if it’s just a heavy coating of spit.

Prep is the best course of action when it comes down to it. Honestly, after you learn to master the finger prep, you’ll likely never use lube every again. Once you get the asshole hot and bothered, it pumps out lubrication. Clear, clean lubrication that doesn’t dry up. If anything, it’s a bit overwhelming after a bit.

The trick, for me anyway, is to visit the bathroom and use my finger to check the scene, as it were. In the process I give my sphincter a good opening before using my exceptionally thick dildo. Hence, prep has two purposes: for housekeeping and for ease of penetration.

Relish the Assgasm

There’s a reason why they call it a “mangina.” You know, like a man’s vagina. Of course it only applies to men who take it in the ass. It implies something else, though, something that skews the whole “taking it in the ass only pleases him” angle.

Your asshole can orgasm. That’s right. Assgasms do exist. It comes when you push hard and fast into your contracting muscles, the ones trying to push the penetrating object out. Push through that resistance hard and fast, then suddenly a quake will take over you. You will feel your ass expand and contract its way up and down the penetrating object. Then it will relax and take the object deeper. Most notably, however, will be the sudden increase in wetness, in lubrication.

Hello ladies: if you think that the only way to get off during anal is through clitoral or some other form of vaginal stimulation, give it a try without. I’m not saying go without the pussy all the time, but just so you know that it is possible to enjoy ass sex if you would just relax and enjoy.

The Exceptions

Now, I’m aware that I lumped all women together in this discussion so far. Please know that I do not mean all women. Hell, I don’t even mean most women. I just mean a particularly vocal group.

As I noted previously in regards to newer pornstars gaping assholes, more and more women have anal intercourse on a regular basis. Anal is especially prevalent among teens and those in their twenties. For these women, anal is attractive for primarily two reasons:

  • Birth Control - Ain’t no baby-making through the back door, baby.
  • More Intense Orgasms – Taking it in the ass while getting off turbo charges orgasm.

In Conclusion

Ladies should know that anal is not some heartless, nasty business that no one can possibly enjoy. Please stop holding it up as some Holy Grail or forbidden fruit. Your men don’t want to degrade you through the act. They want to try something new, to explore previously unchartered terrain. Give it a try. Push through the discomfort. It’s more than worth it.

There are millions of fans of anal intercourse, both men, women, and all points between, who would like to share their love of anal with you. Let me be the first.

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