Saturday, February 11, 2012

Why Isn’t Cunnilingus Demeaning?

The feminist movement, or at least the pre-late-nineties feminist of the Gloria Steinem type, continue to perpetuate the message that it is demeaning for a woman to perform fellatio on a man.

Thanks to the emergence around the turn of the century of the “lipstick” feminist, an evolution in feminist thought that says it’s not anti-woman to embrace traditional notions of femininity, far fewer young women feel that giving a guy a BJ is demeaning. In fact, many find it highly empowering and enjoyable.

Still, the traditional feminist opposition to fellatio persists.

I understand the reasons why the Steinem-era feminist feels that BJ’s are demeaning. The various positions employed by people performing fellatio appear subservient on the surface: on her knees in front of a man, head buried in a man’s crotch, all that.

The thing that these feminists don’t grasp and that many lipstick feminists have come to embrace is that performing fellatio can be exceptionally empowering and enjoyable.

Granted, if a guy is being misogynistic in his approach to receiving blowjobs, the act is demeaning to the woman. But for those many men who approach fellatio as though it were part of a wide variety of sexual acts, requests for of allowing a woman to give them blowjobs is actually a huge exercise in trust. Trust that the woman won’t hurt him. Trust that the woman won’t walk away feeling used or demeaned.

Then there’s the notion that BJ’s are demeaning because the person performing fellatio receives no pleasure from the act, that the only one receiving any pleasure is the recipient. I plan to write about that fallacy at some point in the future. For now, I have to call bullshit on that statement.

I have witnessed women’s pussies flood with juices after giving BJ’s and in some cases even orgasm from the act. Throat fucking is especially potent in this regard. And as a bisexual male, I have personally experienced the full-body tingle and euphoria that always follows giving a blowjob. And then there’s the satisfaction that comes from pleasing another human being, giving them something they’ll remember fondly.

However, my stance on the positive effects of giving head is not the point of this post. My purpose is best summed up by the following question:

Why is fellatio considered demeaning but cunnilingus is not?

Sure, there are many people out there who find any form of oral sex gross and demeaning. For many Steinem-minded feminists and otherwise “proud” women, only the act of giving a guy head is considered demeaning, yet they’re more than happy to let people lap at their pussies for hours. When feminism spurs a woman to embrace an identity as a lesbian, that woman almost always has absolutely no qualms about giving and receiving cunnilingus.

I don’t get this double standard.

Compared to most vaginas, penises are pretty approachable. Sure, there are plenty of cases where a guy’s cock and balls can be downright nasty. For the most part, though, they tend to be pretty scent and taste neutral (until the nuts bust, that is).

Vaginas, on the other hand, can be a mixed bag and require an acquired taste in most cases. I’ve tasted some that are literally as sweet and tasty as a perfectly ripe peach. Most of the time, though, even when the outside is taste neutral, there’s a distinct musty smell and taste that accompanies most vaginas. It’s not bad in most cases, but when contrasted to the lack of smell and taste of a clean penis, vaginas are a cornucopia of surprises to the taste buds.

Then there’s the whole wetness factor that comes into play, with juices rapidly forming and streaming into mouths and onto faces and chins. Even the most tame pussy eating practices result in a mess of fluids within seconds, contrasted to the lack of fluids outside of spittle that fellatio produces.

In general, eating pussy is messy, often smelly, and requires a depth of immersion into the crotch that is unequaled by the act of sucking dick. So then, why is fellatio still so derided as degrading and cunnilingus so liberating?

It just irks me that so many people choose to shame others into adopting their philosophies. You can be feminist and find giving head empowering, or at the very least, something you enjoy.

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