Tuesday, May 29, 2012

TMI Tuesday: 29 May 2012 - It’s Just a Fantasy

I feel fortunate to have Memorial Day off to spend time answering this week’s awesome questions from TMI Tuesday.

1. If your lover was turned on by forced feminization would you participate (giving or receiving)? *Forced feminization is the practice of enforcing activities on a male, which are typically associated with women, to make him submissive. For example: wearing lingerie, heels, make-up.
To start, I must commend the person who wrote the definition of forced feminization. I appreciate the inclusion of the word “typically” to modify “associated.” Because let’s face it, ideas of femininity and masculinity are really social constructs. Like most of my sexual fantasies, forced feminization falls squarely in the realm of irony-fueled sexual arousal. They make me hot as hell, but I’m aware they’re bogus...like when I’m fucking my wife and I call her worthless or ask her to say she hates me.

Forced feminization is something I’ve courted on-and-off in my fantasies throughout the years. Mostly though, force wasn’t exactly a component. For a while before my wife and I started to fuck those of the opposite sex outside our marriage, we were fine with the other having sexual relationships with those of our own sex.

During this period, when I was still way too thin and thought I’d make a beautiful woman, I often would dress in some of my wife’s lingerie. No make-up as she wore none at the time. But I would imagine being with a man who demanded I always dress womanly when I was home and to always be ready to service him in anyway he wanted. I’d even fantasized that he would take it so far as to demand I get gender reassignment surgery because “the sight of your worm makes me sick.”

More recently, I courted forced feminization only briefly at the peak of my cuckolding days. I’d fantasize that my wife found a man who would first beat me into submission, then eventually force me to service him as though I were the ugly bitch in the room who’s lucky to get to even lick his asshole. And always, I’d be expected to cook and clean for them and even raise their baby. This was not a direction I typically took my cuckolding fantasies, but they did manifest a time or two.

These days, my wife and I are going through a sexual renaissance. If my wife wanted to partake in some forced feminization, I’d fully dive into my role as her sissy. I don’t think it will happen, though, as most recently we’ve adopted a power dynamic that places her in the subservient role and she seems to enjoy her new station.
2. When you have sexual dreams or fantasies that are aggressive or cruel, does it worry you?
Let me answer this as a two part question and address “dreams” and “fantasies” as two separate concepts.

Dream (n.): vision seen during sleep
Do I worry when I have aggressive or cruel dreams? Unfortunately, I don’t have enough sexual dreams on which to base an honest answer. Most of my sexual dreams leave me feeling completely enamored and floaty. However I’ve had two that stick with me strongly and seems to illustrate that aggression and cruelty aren’t as big as a factor for me as much as my own moral code.

Torn to Shreds
A few years back after seeing some intense illustrated gore porn and chatting with some gore kinksters about the images, I had a wicked dream that should have scared me straight. It involved me raping a woman with utmost brutality. Throwing her down and beating on her, twisting her limbs until they snapped like dry twigs. All the time fucking her and every time I hurt her, the hole I happened to be in would explode and expand so wide I couldn’t feel myself inside her. I grew more intense the more I hurt her. I went completely wild when I looked into her eyes and they screamed out, “More. More. Fucking tear me apart!” And then I did it. I literally tore her to pieces. All the while those eyes screamed, “Yes. Yes. Yes! Don’t ever stop.”  I didn’t wake from this dream. It sort of faded out and into something less intense. But I remembered it in the morning and felt only aroused, not worried.

Too Young, Too Close
My first-ever wet dream involved a very gentle and seemingly consensual blowjob from someone close to me but who was completely inappropriate and it worried me for years. I still feel shame over having that dream.

Regarding Dreams
I always keep in mind that dreams aren’t often what they appear to be on the surface. They are messages from our subconscious that come to us in guise. Perhaps the reason the woman torn to shreds wasn’t worrisome is because the message was really one meant to encourage me to tear into something I’ve wanted to do. Even if I complete destroy it in the process, it will still satisfy all involved. After all, her eyes egged me ever on. And my first wet dream? A stern warning perhaps.

Fantasy (n.): vision seen while awake
Do I ever worry about aggressive or cruel fantasies that I’ve had? Mostly no. As of late, my fantasies have sat squarely in the realm of aggressive and cruel and seem only to get more so. Some fantasies that I have do worry me though and have been pushing me on to certain actions. The thing about fantasies for me is that the more likely they are to happen, the harder I cum and that may be a factor in how much they may cause me to worry.

Never Gonna Happen
Many of my most aggressive and cruel fantasies fall into the category of “never gonna happen.” Primarily, the fantasy is so far out there it’s not even in the realm of possibility.

For example, I spoke out a fatal fantasy to my wife that left her sopping and pulsing ever wider open. It involved me selling her off to a group of men who slowly dismember her over the years as they pass her around. As she eventually becomes nothing but a head and torso, men tattoo their names on her and she is passed around via a suitcase. She lives for fifty years more in that manner and no inch of her skin is visible. When she breathes her last breath, she smiles and thinks of what a blessed life she got to live.

As I spoke those last lines, my wife’s back arched up and she started an intense orgasm that lasted for over a minute. Pretty fucked up, eh? Thing is it would never, ever happen. I’d never actually want that to happen to the love of my life. That’s part of the irony and, I think, part of the arousal.

Slightly Possible
At the start of the century, my wife found herself in a scary situation. She woke in a stranger’s home after being out for three days. Someone who had wicked intentions toward Renee had given her a pill a few days before. The guy she was hanging with\fucking-more-than-others had reportedly watched over her all those days. He joked that he let the high school wrestling team fuck her at twenty bucks a pop.

In retrospect, she probably was used sexually as well as robbed via our ATM. Fantasizing about this really having happened causes only the tiniest bit of worry, but more so, causes extreme excitement. Truthfully, I’d be disappointed if she hadn’t been used sexually at least a couple times.

All Too Possible
Impregnation fantasies, usually ones in which the woman is the aggressive one by coaxing me into making a baby with her or locking me in so I can’t pull out, these fantasies do worry me.

Then there are the cruel ones that involve either my female lover or me deceiving the other into making a baby. Such cruel ways include sneaking off the condom or purposely pinching the tip with the fingernails to make it split open and roll to the hilt of the cock or pretending to have sterility measures in place.

Why would this be so worrisome? Because, although I’m getting stronger about it, I’m weak when it comes to cumming inside women and know I’d be all too likely to cave and make that baby. That’s part of why I’m striving to get a vasectomy. I want to keep baby making in the realm of fantasy, much against my testicles’ protest.
3. Tell us your hottest filthiest fantasy, right now, in 100 words or less. This is the fantasy about your desires that you probably never share, maybe they even go against your morals, or are societal taboos.
Before I begin this, let me state that this is actually a fantasy my wife and I share. She’s cum to it on her own almost as often as I have. Although she’s long sought the means to make it happen, she’s been unsuccessful thus far. Here's the fantasy...

I slip a full tab in my wife’s first beer after she returns home. She always guzzles her first beer. In an hour, she’s out cold. Three in the stink shows just how far out. Three loads, one in each hole and some all too nasty fluid abuse later, I make the calls. It starts with one. Two days later, she wakes to her body rocking in a stranger’s sex swing with forty-seven tick marks on her body amidst all sorts of obscenities. She can’t feel the man inside her. Her whole body is numb and comfortably at peace.
4. Which superhero would you like to have sex with? Why?
a. Aquaman
b. Superman
c. Wonder Woman
d. She-Ra

Wonder Woman because she was my first crush as a kid, the Lynda Carter Wonder Woman that is.
5. Knowing there’s a hot young couple in the adjoining hotel room, would you press your ear against the wall to hear the action on the other side?
I don’t care how old anyone is, I love to listen to action on the other side of the wall. Unfortunately, I’ve never gotten to experience this at a hotel. We’re usually the ones trying to be quiet at the hotels. The thing I most miss about living in the apartments that housed mostly college students was the occasional times you could hear neighbors fucking. One night, an upstairs neighbor who was moving out the next day spent hours fucking a guy who was much, much bigger than her in all ways and I could tell. I came twice jerking off to her sounds that night.
6. Do you think the lure to live out sexual fantasies or have sex frequently is amplified by technology? Briefly explain.
I really want to say no just because so many conservative groups would say yes. I can’t firmly say either though because it’s not that simple.

I think yes, technology has amplified our lure to live out certain fantasies in that the technologies have allowed us to connect to others with similar fantasies. The result is a feeling of normalcy, or at the very least, solidarity within a particular group of like-minded individuals.

Then I think no, technology has not amplified our lure to live out certain other fantasies. The myth is that pornography increases incidents of all sorts of sexual assault and abuse. The truth is that studies show wherever pornography is legal, such incidents greatly decline to the point of becoming near footnotes in yearly crime statistics. The internet offers up porn 24\7 that, allows people to fulfill their fantasies and to keep them there.
Bonus: Describe your fantasy life in three (3) words. * “Fantasy life” in this answer refers exclusively to the fantasies I have that involve sex.
My fantasy life* is best described as intense, inappropriate, and impassioned.

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