Monday, May 7, 2012

Why I Like It #4 – Woman Abuse in Porn

Anonymous asked the following question via my Formspring account:
You seem to get off on pictures of women being abused. Have you ever considered that you hate women?
Here was my response…

I love women.

There's a nuance to the photos and videos of women in abusive or rough sexual acts that I reblog or like that might not be obvious. The nuances are more important to me than the acts of perceived violence inflicted upon the women.

The photos and videos that I enjoy and reblog are of women who get off on the abuse. Even if she's trying desperately to get away as the guy(s) are pulling her back, smacking her around, throttling her, beating her ass, forcing their dicks down her throat, brutalizing her butthole... underneath it all, I can see, or at least see the illusion that the treatment she's receiving is exactly the treatment she craves.

It took me a very long time to come around to the notion, to accept as fact that there are more than a few women who want their sex to be rough. In some cases, the women only want to be bound, others gagged, others fully abused to the point of qualifying as rape, if it weren't for the fact that she literally asked for it.

Also, I don't get off on photos and videos of these types if it appears that the man\men involved takes an unhealthy pleasure in degrading and abusing women. If they appear in control and happy because they know they're giving the woman the abuse she craves, then it's all good. But if he obviously seems to want to abuse women due to some misogynistic mentality, I detest it.

As I noted before, it took me forever to accept abusive sex as acceptable for others to participate in. I was raised by an on-again-off-again single mother who had a history of being abused by the men in her life, starting with her father. (My father was not abusive, nor was my second stepdad. The other two husbands were super-abusive to not only her but us kids as well).

As a result of the abuse she endured, my mom often took in women to hide them from their abusive husbands. My life was filled with women who reinforced by example the same message regarding sex: Always respect a woman.  Never hurt a woman. Period. That in combination with the sex talk that started out with "When a man and a woman love each other,..." reinforced this notion that all sex had to be gentle and respectful.

This mindset made me a generally lackluster lover. I fucked at a slow pace, worried too much about hurting my lover and usually mistaking certain sex noises for discomfort. It wasn't until my then-girlfriend-now-wife (Renee) told me the first time we had sex to "quit teasing" her and fuck her, that I ramped up my style.

Renee instructed me to fuck her the way I wanted to fuck her. It took a little while, but I finally started to pound her without regard for the possibility of hurting her pussy. For the longest time, I usually could keep going longer than her. That made me hurry up and cum for fear she'd stop me before completion. In reality, I would have preferred to fuck for at least a half an hour at a time. After awhile, however, I started to disregard her when she'd ask me to stop. The results were amazing. Within thirty seconds, her previously drying cunt would dampen and she'd cum harder than all of her prior orgasms combined.

"Respectfully disrespected."

That's the term we adopted to describe how my wife prefers to be fucked. She doesn't want to control the situation most of the time. She wants her lovers to generally disregard any direction she might give, to ignore her when she wants to stop. She doesn't want to be asked to fuck. She wants her lovers to take her whether she's in the mood or not. As long as she’s given the initial “yes,” she wants her lovers to consider every “no” as a coy “yes.”

Over time, Renee’s really taken a liking to being choked out. Although, she saves it pretty much exclusively for me, she has been known to let others throttle her. It's not a part of sex that I asked to incorporate into our retinue. It's something she prompted me to do. It started with her placing her throat in the crook of my elbow when I'd take her from behind and pushing her throat into my crook to choke herself out as she felt a cum rising. It moved on to her putting my hand on her throat and has become a regular part of our sexual routines. These days, spanking, cock gagging, slapping, and bondage have been rapidly coming into regular play for us.

Now, someone might think that this is an anomaly. That just because my wife likes the abuse, that it's not something any other woman would like to happen to her and that I'm creating within myself an unhealthy desire to abuse women. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, it's because of other women and not my wife that I've allowed myself to grow in this sexually abusive direction.

As someone in an open marriage, I've fucked a fair share of other women. A great many of them has placed my hand on their throats. Others have instructed me to smack them or beat their ass as I fuck them. When I wouldn't hit them hard enough, they'd smack themselves. One time, I thought the woman was going to knock herself unconscious with how hard she repeatedly slapped herself. And with each smack, her pussy grew evermore wet and would queef on my cock.

In one particularly intense encounter in a hot tub, this woman wanted me to drown her. She put my hand on the back of her head, placed her hand on top of mine, and shoved her head underwater as I pounded away. I pulled her out after a few seconds, she called me a pussy and told me to drown her ass, to grudge fuck her, to fuck her like I hate her, to drown her like I want her dead. I did my best to grudge fuck her, but couldn't bring myself to shove her head underwater. So, she did it to herself.

Over and over, most of the women I've fucked over the years, my wife included, and with zero prompting of my own, have pushed me to abuse them. Even online lovers have gone that direction with me. Again, it's never with me saying a word about how it arouses me. It's like they can "smell" it on me. They also tell me they don't let just anyone abuse them. One woman told me that she wanted me to abuse her because she trusted me. We'd only fucked once before, but she "just knew it," knew that she could trust me not enjoy abusing her for all the wrong reasons and to know where the line was not to be crossed.

So no, I don't hate women. I love women and hold a special place in my heart for those women who eagerly pursue the type of sex they crave, especially those who fiend for abuse.

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