Tuesday, October 16, 2012

TMI Tuesday: October 16, 2012 - Can We Be Just Friends?


Thank you to Erotic Adventures in Brisneyland for the theme of this week’s TMI Tuesday.

1. Have you ever had a friendship with someone where you secretly (or not so secretly) desired them?
Yes, I have had such friendships and regretted every single time that I shared my desire for them. It made things unnecessarily awkward and the friends rapidly distanced themselves from me. In one case, one woman even turned other friends against me, warning them that I had designs on anything with a hole between their legs. This is a huge part of the reason why I tend not to tell people, even those close to me who I feel I can trust, that I am in an open marriage.
2. Are you prone to jealousy, suspicion or insecurity when your partner spends time with an attractive close friend without you? Why?
No and yes. I experience none of those negative emotions when it comes to my wife having sex or just having a good time hanging out with an attractive close friend.  I am prone to suspicion if I know that she is likely to make poor judgment calls when with the person, but it’s because of the trouble she will most likely get into with that person, not because of being with the other person. And I’m talking about the types of judgment calls that could easily land her in jail, injured, or just generally endangered. I worry more about my wife than my teenage sons, although it’s been getting better.
3. Has a previously platonic friendship ever bloomed into a sexual relationship?
Yes, but they always failed by no fault of my own. The women quickly desired me to the point of wanting me to leave my wife to be exclusively with them. 
4. Have you ever remained close friends with an ex-lover?
Not for any stretch of time, again by no fault of my own. In every case, it was because my wife couldn’t handle me spending time with my ex-lovers. She tried, but she would go out of her mind while I was out with my friends and interrogate me the second I returned. I am distant friends with several ex-lovers, both IRL and online, via Facebook.
Bonus: Have you ever developed feelings for a “friend with benefits”? How did it develop, unfold, resolve?
I’ve never been fortunate enough to have a friend with benefits. For one, I have almost no friends because of my hermitic proclivities. Additionally, the few friends-gone-lovers I’ve had progressed so quickly from friendship to sexual partners to deep love that we essentially had nearly no time in the FWB zone. One day we were friends, the next day we were deeply in love with one another.

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