Sunday, December 9, 2012

Massive Random TMI - DO IT!!!


Today, I present 100 quickly answered questions. No more than one minute was given to each. All answers reflect my sentiments as of 9 December 2012.

1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation?
Masturbation, but only because I tend to incorporate dildo anal play which greatly intensifies my sensations.
2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated.
My cheek bone when kissed. The back of my knee. My nipples. My genitals. My inner thigh.
3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated?
I do it to myself almost daily during auto-anal play.
4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals?
I’ve experienced bodily orgasmic sensations a time or two.
5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation?
I prefer to stimulate vaginas with my penis. 
6.Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt?
I can touch my (wife’s) clitoris directly if I can find it. She has a tricky clit.
7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot?
I’m well acquainted with all my (wife’s) “spots.”
8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated?
Handjobs just are. If done well, they are most definitely underrated.
9. Do you like having your balls touched?
Most definitely.
10. Do you like having your nipples touched?
Yes.
11. Do you like having your anus touched?
And much more.
12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)?
No, but not from lack of trying. One day soon, I hope, my wife will use her hands that are smaller than mine to fist me. 
13. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)?
I do.
14. Do you have any kinks?
Too many to name her. Think of the most depraved thing minus crap or puke and you’ve likely hit upon one of my kinks.
15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella?
I’m into most all things under the BDSM umbrella.
16. Do you pee in the shower?
Quite frequently.
17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower?
At one time, not a shower was complete without the expulsion of ejaculate. Nowadays, it does the trick from time to time.
18. Have you had sex in the shower?
Yes, but not in some time.
19. Do you like being naked?
I love being naked.
20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked?
I sleep full naked.
21. Have you ever skinny dipped?
Yes, but again, not in a long time.
22. What's the most unusual thing you've done nude?
Watered my garden. But I had my shoes on, so does that count?
23. Have you ever to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity?
Yes.
24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)?
With my immediate family members, I’m comfortable. Other than that, I tend only to be comfortable in front of those who give their consent, which isn’t many.
25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts?
Yes.
26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)?
Yes. At gyms and such.
27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom?
Nope. 
28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? If yes, have you sent them to anyone? Are they online?
Yes. Yes, some. Yes, some.
29. How many sexual partners have you had?
Around 40.
30. How often do you masturbate?
Once every three days or so.
31. Age you started masturbating? How did you discover/learn about it?
Age 11. Initially, I employed what I thought was the proper technique based on a song my uncle sang: “Old McDonald beating his meat on the toilet seat.” It didn’t work, and felt all wrong. After all, shouldn’t masturbation simulate sex? That’s when I put two and two together, curled up my hand, imagined someone who was really random, and finally did it.
32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)?
One of two ways. If in bed, I’m typically on my back and ever more often with a dildo up my ass. If in the shower, I’m on my knees.
33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc.
Again, there are two main locations. If in bed, it’s usually after I’ve been banging my butthole with dildos for awhile. I bury my Fat Boy dildo up my ass, grab the lube, and imagine whatever. If in the shower, I tend to think up a fantasy as I shower. Then I drop to my knees, grab the Pantene Pro-V moisturizing conditioner, and let the fantasy play itself out in my mind.
34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)?
Most often, I masturbate to my imagination. 
35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore?
And beyond.
36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with the opposite set of genitals?
I got up close and personal with them at a woefully young age, so I couldn’t say.
37. Have you ever "compared" (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend?
Nope.
38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear?
Boxers if wearing pants with zippers, otherwise I don’t wear boxers.
39. Do you ever go commando?
Yes, almost always if wearing pants without zippers.
40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep?
3 times in my adult life, none until I was in mid-twenties.
41. How big is your penis?
7 inches long, 5.5 inches around
42. Does your penis curve at all?
Sort of. The lower portion is thicker than the rest and creates the effect of a curve without actually being a curve. I hang to the left because that testicle is, for all intents and purposes, nonexistent.
43. Which testicle hangs lower?
The right, because it is pretty much the only one I have. 
44. How big are your breasts?
My (wife’s) bra size is 34b.
45. Do you long or short labia? Are they even or uneven?
My (wife’s) labia is very pronounced, meaty if you will.
46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris?
My (wife’s) clitoris is small, or “tricky” as it’s been called.
47. Are you circumcised or no? Are you happy with it?
I am circumcised and wouldn’t have it any other way. I honestly feel I’d have considered adult circumcision if I weren’t. 
48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don't care?
As a bisexual male, I’m usually not so thrilled about foreskin. If I love the dick, I’ll forgo it, but I definitely prefer a cut male.
49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts?
Butts.
50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way?
I love genitals!
51. Do you like the way your genitals look?
Yes.
52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup?
Yes.
53. Do you like your butt?
More so since I gained weight a few years back.
54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)?
Shave, but keep a manicured upper region.
55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair?
I prefer it bald.
56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed?
No, I wear loose lower clothing that allows me to hang as I will, which is usually to the left.
57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? Do you like any on other people?
Twice, my cock in the frenum was pierced. I enjoy genital piercings on others.
58. What is the quickest you've ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm?
Seconds.
59. Do you ever "edge" (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating?
I have in the past, but not lately. Well, maybe, that’s not true. When I cum to porn, I edge until the point I want to cum.
60. What's the longest masturbation session you've had? Longest sex session?
I jerked off for a couple hours at a time once or three times before.
61. What's the most orgasms you've had in one session (of anything)?
I have cum five times in a row, throughout the course of one hour.
62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric?
Most of the time, crotch centric.
63. Spit or swallow?
I swallow.
64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble?
I used to be a chronic dribbler, but now I’m quite the shooter.
65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on?
Hot.
66. Do you "squirt?"
I (my wife) squirts easily and often with a technique few know.
67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral?
Yes, didn’t work out.
68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.?
Yes, but only playfully.
69. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
Yes, a few times.
70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn't belong to either of you?
Yes.
71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you?
Yes.
72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in?
All.
73. Strangest/most unique place you've had sex? How about masturbated?
Sex on a bus moving north through the Mexican desert. Masturbated while driving north on an Alaskan road.
74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross?
Yeah. This old couple. As I fucked her, she seemed to have some sort of afterbirth coming out of her. She complained about being over it. Turns out I re-kickstarted her period.
75. Are you particularly "vocal" when masturbating/having sex?
Yes, I talk to my partners and to myself usually.
76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex?
Yes.
77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)?
I have been in several versions of group sex and would like to have more. 
78. Do you own any sex toys?
Several.
79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy?
Yes. I used to carve carrots into dildos.
80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)?
Yes, but not if you’re dead set on finding satisfaction in feeling the load.
81. What are your favorite positions?
With my dildo, missionary because of the curve. With my wife, forking.
82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience?
Any of the few times I couldn’t keep it up.
83. Worst place/time you've ever gotten a boner?
I can think of a couple times in junior high.
84. Have you ever had any genital injuries?
Quite a few bully inflected wounds, plus and undescended testicle, and a hernia. 
85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection?
Yes. Chlamydia.
86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)?
Yes, I think. Does Psoriasis count as an infection.
87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up?
Yes, (my wife) can pee standing up.
88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there?
(my wife is) a professional prostitute. Knowing (her) pussy is her livelihood.
89. Do you think you're "good" at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement?
I am skilled at sex but overall a bit rusty from lack of practice.
90. Have you "sexted" (whether through text messaging or IM chat)?
Yes.
91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam?
Yes.
92. Have you have phone sex?
Yes.
93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do.
Think of five sexual things, with the obvious being number one: touching myself.
94. What's something you like about your body?
My asshole’s ability and eagerness to take on big dick.
95. What's something you dislike about your body?
My psoriasis.
96. What body parts do you find the sexiest?
Eyes, mouth and ass.
97. What was your most recent sexual thought?
About telling my wife that she needs to recognize that while we’re on our cruise, she’s my fuckmeat.
98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.?
Yes, often.
99. When was the last time you touched your genitals?
Moments ago.
100. Do you often imagine people naked?
Yes.
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