Although some of my responses will sound evasive and vague, I really had fun answering this week’s TMI Tuesday questions submitted by Swinging Gemma.
1. Do you think that acting out a fantasy can sometimes cause damage to a relationship?
From a purely objective standpoint, I believe that acting out a fantasy has the potential to a damage a relationship. I differentiate here between "acting out" as a form of roleplay and "acting on" as in making the fantasy a reality. Acting on a fantasy has a higher probability to damage a relationship than merely acting it out. Of course, it all depends on the fantasy being acted out too. If the fantasy can be construed by the partner as reflecting something negative in their relationship or something dark in the one with the fantasy, such acting out could really mess up an otherwise tidy relationship. Take for example someone who lets loose with a fantasy about fucking another person. Disclosing such a fantasy to a partner might cause them to start second guessing the discloser's true desires and become jealous.
From a purely subjective view, though, most acting out of fantasies would do no damage to a relationship and can even make it stronger. I know this from personal experience as I have yet to share a twisted fantasy with my wife as we fuck that didn't make her cum hard. And there have been some really fucked up ones that would have sent most screaming.2. Some couples role play their fantasies rather than introducing another person into the relationship to live out their fantasies. Do you think that this is an acceptable substitute?
Yes, roleplaying another person is a totally acceptable substitute for those who remain reticent to take the plunge into reality. It has the potential to shake out negative reactions while never crossing the actual line into reality. It's easier for most to forgive a thought than an action.3. Is there a particular movie or TV series or character from a movie or TV series that you fantasize about?
No, not really. When it comes to fantasizing about people instead of scenarios, I tend to imagine those who I know in person or with whom I have had contact.4. Apart from the obvious things like child abuse, are there some things that are “off limits” for a fantasy e.g. incest fantasies, age play, rape fantasies. Why/ why not?
Although I will try to keep certain things off-limits for a fantasy, I just can't help myself and follow it down the rabbit hole anyway. These fantasies fall into the categories of universally illegal, immoral, or both. Nearly six years ago, I started a blog to record each and every one of my orgasms and ejaculations. The blog was public, so I found myself censoring or denying myself from imagining things that almost every person in society would consider unacceptable. About a year ago, due to a series of negative interactions with online lovers, I set my cum blog to private. Ever since, those off-limits fantasies have been making a rapid return. Some are so wicked I censor them even from myself by filling out the description field with "CENSORED - TOO WRONG TO WRITE." Sorry to provide such a vague answer, but I don't want to incriminate myself by posting any deeper details publicly online.5. What is the most taboo thing you have ever fantasized about doing?
Taboo is such a subjective term and is becoming ever more so. For example, twenty years ago in the US, it was mostly taboo to have a bald pussy as an adult. Now, it's the norm. The same can be said of interracial sex and most standard BDSM practices, to name a couple more. I recently saw the line “piss is the new cum,” if that says anything about the shedding of taboos in our society.I am not going to disclose the most taboo thing I ever fantasized because it shames me deeply that I even went there. And that’s saying a hell of a lot.6. Tell us about a fantasy that you have that you don’t ever see yourself actually acting out. Why do you think you will never act it out?
A fantasy I’ve come round to many times throughout the past couple years is cuckold pregnancy. I’m talking about traditional cuckoldry here, not the increasingly popular form of sexual play. A married woman who has professed for years that she never wants kids is so mad for me she can’t help but think of anything except making a baby with me while tricking her husband into thinking he’s the dad. Have to admit, I’d have a hell of a time not acting on this fantasy if I had the chance, but ultimately, I wouldn’t act on it. Sure, you could say it’s not fair to the husband, but it’s really the kid about whom I’d feel guilty.7. Have you ever pretended the person you were having sex with was someone else without telling them?
Yes. I've done it only a few times with lovers but often with my wife. Sometimes I tell her who I'm thinking of and other times I don't.8. Have you ever tried to make a fantasy a reality only to have it fail miserably? What happened?
Numerous times. Basically, I tend to view my wife as my personal fantasy factory. That means I tend to envision things that could likely happen. Inevitably, I work myself up, disclose the fantasy to her, she seems worked up, then she inevitably doesn’t follow through or calls it good after the first round or only does part of it or... I don’t usually use this space to bash, but she is the main source of my failed fantasies come true. What can I say? That’s what she gets for being my muse. Conversely, she’s certainly helped make the bulk of my fantasies reality.Bonus: Tell us about your most cherished fantasy. Did you ever live it out? Please give us all the juicy details because that is the kind of people we are.
I have had many, many cherished fantasies. I stick to them for awhile. Shelve them to return to them later. Some I’ve even forbidden myself from revisiting. Perhaps the most cherished fantasy of all was back in my late teens, early twenties.
I was seventeen, just graduated, and this girl I used to give rides to (my sister’s friend) was over to say goodbye to us. Her family was moving to Las Vegas. Somehow we three wound up spooning (before I knew the term) on my bed. I was curled around the girl and my sister was around me. My hand rested on the girls stomach as we lay there. It lasted for a few minutes before we started to fade and had to call it off. For a few years after, I would cum so intensely every time I imagined taking that spoon all the way - sans my sister, that is. Anytime I couldn’t think of anything else or was having a hard time popping, that fantasy was a sure cum.
Did I live out the fantasy? In my life’s greatest windfall of fortune, yes!
Three years later, I’d returned to home from college in Colorado. I was holed up in the converted school bus in my mom’s yard. I was on fire in those days, sexy to most ladies in my age range. One month later, the girl, now graduated and grown, came to stay with us. In the back of that bus, the three of us found ourselves in exactly the same spoon position. This time, I went for it and the rest is history. We have been together for just shy of twenty years, married for just shy of eighteen, and the proud parents of two teenage sons.