Saturday, April 6, 2013

Another Random TMI - 100 Questions

I ran across the following list on Tumblr and thought it would be fun to answer them here. The creator of the list is attributed to Made by uncutting.tumblr.com

1. What tends to feel better for you, sex or masturbation?
Masturbation.

2. Your 5 favorite spots to be stimulated.
Genitals, neck, small of back, feet, inner thigh

3. Have you ever had your prostate stimulated?
Yes, by myself both intentionally and unintentionally.

4. Have you ever had an orgasm from anywhere other than your genitals?
I've had the occasional mindgasm, but it affected my whole body including my genitals.

5. Do you prefer clitoral or vaginal stimulation?
I like women who can cum solely from penetration because they are rare.

6. Can you touch your clitoris directly, or does that hurt?
I don't have a vagina.

7. Are you well-acquainted with your G-spot?
I don't have a vagina but am skilled at hitting on most women.

8. Are handjobs boring, or underrated?
Handjobs in the same vein as blowjobs I've never experienced, but they come across as boring to me.

9. Do you like having your balls touched?
Yes.

10. Do you like having your nipples touched?
Yes.

11. Do you like having your anus touched?
Oh, yes.

12. Have you ever been fisted (anally or vaginally)?
No. I don't have a vagina and have only come close to fisting one. I have tried to fist my own asshole but the bones are too narrow for my large hand.

13. Do you like mild roughness (scratching, spanking, hair-pulling, etc.)?
Yes, more in inflicting than receiving.

14. Do you have any kinks?
Many. Read on to learn more.

15. Are you into anything under the BDSM umbrella?
Yes. Bondage, choking, spanking, and degradation figure prominently.

16. Do you pee in the shower?
Absolutely.

17. Do you ever masturbate in the shower?
Yes. It’s my number two place to do so.

18. Have you had sex in the shower?
Yes, but not in awhile.

19. Do you like being naked?
I love being naked.

20. Do you sleep partially/fully naked?
I sleep fully naked.

21. Have you ever skinny dipped?
Yes.

22. What's the most unusual thing you've done nude?
Baked a pecan pie.

23. Have you ever been to a nude beach, naked party, or other situation involving casual nudity?
Yes to all three.

24. Are you comfortable being seen partially/fully naked by family or friends (i.e. getting dressed, etc.)?
It depends on the person. If they are inclined to feel uncomfortable with my nudity, then so am I.

25. Are you comfortable with partners seeing you nude in non-sexual contexts?
Partners, as in sexual partners? Hells yeah. If they’ve seen me naked during sex, what’s the big deal about non-sexual nudity?

26. Have you ever showered with someone (non-sexually)?
Yes. Hasn’t anyone who’s gone through the public school systems (i.e. gym class)?

27. Do you care if a partner sees you going to the bathroom?
Nope. If it turns them on, or they ask to hold it for me...bonus!

28. Do you have naked pictures/videos of yourself? If yes, have you sent them to anyone? Are they online?
Yes, I have some naked pictures and videos of myself, but not many because I’ve never had very good recording equipment of lighting. I have sent some by request, and I have posted some online.

29. How many sexual partners have you had?
Around 40.

30. How often do you masturbate?
As of late, about two to three times a week. That’s just an average, though, and solely referring to penile masturbation. Anally, I masturbate much, much more frequently, if averaged out, I masturbate anally for an average of ten minutes once every 8-12 hours.

31. Age you started masturbating? How did you discover/learn about it?
I first consciously tried to masturbate around 9:00 but had it woefully and painfully wrong. I succeeded and began a lifelong career of masturbating at the age of 11. My first failed attempts were based on my all-too literal interpretation of a spoof song my uncle would sing, “Old McDonald \ Beating his meat \ On the toilet seat.” There were some other equally painful spoofs he’d sing and which I at least contemplated. Then one day it clicked. A penis goes inside a vagina, which is supposed to be like a tube. So, I tried to stick my dick in some holes, all of which didn’t work out quite as I hoped and with equally as painful results. Then, something clicked. Don’t know if I had seen some show where a character gets caught jerking it. Maybe it was the hairy palm myth I kept hearing. Whatever happened, I wrapped my fingers around my cock and started to tug. It felt odd at first, but I thought of Elizabeth W., some random girl in one of my junior high classes and in no time....SPLAT!

32. What position do you typically masturbate in (laying on back, on stomach, sitting up, etc.)?
In bed, my number one spot, I recline back with pillows when I masturbate. In the shower, I’m on my knees as if fucking someone in doggie.

33. Describe your masturbation routine, technique, etc.
In bed, my masturbation routine typically consists of stacking the pillows for inclining of my top torso and head, (if applicable)  start some pornographic video, grab the lube, start stroking. In the shower, I kneel down and use Pantene Pro-V conditioner as lube.

34. What do you masturbate to (porn, smut, imagination, etc.)?
I masturbate equally to porn and my imagination. Quite often they merge, as I most often tend to find some woman who reminds me of my wife and imagine the woman as my wife.

35. Have you ever masturbated to the point you got sore?
More often than I care to recall. Beyond sore. Debilitating.

36. Your thoughts the first time you got up close and personal with the opposite set of genitals?
Fact is, I started to fuck around far too early for the experience when older and more conscious had on me aside from a feeling of finally getting to do it as an older person.

37. Have you ever "compared" (genitals, breasts, whatever) with a friend?
With a friend, no. With a lover, yes.

38. What kind of underwear do you normally wear?
Boxers, always boxers.

39. Do you ever go commando?
Whenever I wear pants or shorts without a zipper.

40. Have you ever had a wet dream/orgasmed in your sleep?
I have experienced only three wet dreams in my life, and not until much later in my life.

41. How big is your penis?
7 1/2” long, 1 3/4” wide, 5 1/4” circumference.

42. Does your penis curve at all?
The thicker underside near the frenum creates the illusion of a curve, and it tends to hang left due to on tiny testicle.

43. Which testicle hangs lower?
I really have only one testicle to talk about. It is large and hangs in the center. The other testicle is about the size of a malformed pea. It was distended and I didn’t have the surgery to fix it until I was nine, so it never developed properly.

44. How big are your breasts?
I never measured them, but I do have me some small moobs.

45. Do you long or short labia? Are they even or uneven?
I don’t have a vagina, but my wife has some lovely meat curtains.

46. Do you have a particularly large or tiny clitoris?
I don’t have a vagina, but my wife has a small tricky clit.

47. Are you circumcised or no? Are you happy with it?
I am circumcised and I love it. As a pansexual, I have experienced both and definitely prefer circumcised.

48. Are you turned on or off by foreskin, or don't care?
If kept clean, I not really here nor there regarding foreskin. Too often, though, guys don’t keep it clean enough for me. If I smell that extra-heavy foreskin must, I’m usually simultaneously turned off by the smell, but turned on by the fact that I’m forcing myself to fuck around with something that’s turning me off.

49. What are you more into (or like more about yourself), boobs or butts?
Butts! Definitely butts, big butts.

50. Do you find genitals physically attractive, or weird/gross, or not feel strongly either way?
I find genitals exceptionally and diversely attractive. That’s why I prefer them hairless, so I can see them in their glory.

51. Do you like the way your genitals look?
Very much so. And years of compliments only adds to my pleasure with my genitals’ appearance.

52. Would you be able to pick out your genitals from a lineup?
Most definitely. Due to my testicular “deformity,” my cock has taken on a distinctive look.

53. Do you like your butt?
Since I put on fifty pounds, my butt actually looks cute. When I was way too scrawny, I didn’t have a butt to speak of.

54. What do you do with your pubic hair (shave, trim, wax, nothing, etc.)?
I shave my scrotum and about an inch around. The rest I keep trimmed short.

55. Do you care/have a preference what partners do with their pubic hair?
If a woman, I prefer that at least the labia and clitoris region of the vagina is hairless. I prefer hairless, but I’m okay with some pubes above as long as the vagina itself is bald. If a man, I prefer similar to mine.

56. Do you tuck your penis a certain way (i.e. left or right) when you get dressed?
No, because I wear boxers tucking is futile.

57. Do you have or want any genital piercings? Do you like any on other people?
I dig genital piercings. I’ve had my dick pierced twice, but got rid of them because they disrupt the smooth stroke I have without them.

58. What is the quickest you've ever brought yourself (or been brought) to orgasm?
Seconds. I can’t remember exactly how many, but I distinctly know without knowing any specifics that there are times I cum almost instantly.

59. Do you ever "edge" (repeatedly stop and start) when masturbating?
Yes. I used to do this when I wanted to last as long as possible. Not so much for the sensation of edging.

60. What's the longest masturbation session you've had? Longest sex session?
Both guesses, but pretty close to accurate. Longest masturbation would be a couple hours. After that long, it starts to burn from waaay too much friction. Those moments were usually when I was rolling. Although my youth also contained some similar drug-free moments. Longest sex session is a hard call. I want more specificity, so I’ll make some up for the sake of my answer. A session consists of one male orgasm. My longest sex session was with my wife, also while rolling, neither of us near orgasm but both feeling right there for hours, like five hours before taking a break.

61. What's the most orgasms you've had in one session (of anything)?
That would be with Sumi. We would fuck for five hours before taking a break most of the times we got together. But unlike with the single male orgasm criteria of #60, Sumi and I would just keep going if I came. I’m not sure how many times I orgasmed, but I’d guess around six times before I took a break in our prime.

62. Do your orgasms tend to be full-body, or crotch-centric?
Really depends. If a quick and dirty jerk, usually to pointless porn, it’s crotch-centric. Assgasms, now those are full body.

63. Spit or swallow?
Whichever he prefers. I prefer swallow though.

64. When you ejaculate, do you more shoot or dribble?
Almost always dribble.

65. Is it hot or gross to get ejaculated on?
Hot as fuck!

66. Do you "squirt?"
I do not have a vagina but I have made vaginas squirt.

67. Have you ever attempted (or succeeded) to give yourself oral?
I was unsuccessful in my attempts to give myself oral.

68. Have you ever given/received a footjob, boobjob, etc.?
I’ve received a brief boobjob. These things don’t really do anything for me.

69. Have you ever had sex in a public place?
Yes, in a few public places. Parks are the best.

70. Have you ever had sex in a bed/on a couch that didn't belong to either of you?
Yes.

71. Have you ever had sex/masturbated while somebody was sleeping near you?
Yes.

72. How many rooms of your house/apartment/etc. have you had sex in?
Six, that’s missing only two, our son’s rooms.

73. Strangest/most unique place you've had sex? How about masturbated?
My wife and I had sex on a seat on a bus driving north through Mexico toward Nogales. I masturbated driving up toward Denali National Park.

74. Have you had any sexual experiences that were downright gross?
Yes.

75. Are you particularly "vocal" when masturbating/having sex?
Vocal in the sense that I talk dirty, yes. Being a loud fuck, no.

76. Have you ever been caught masturbating/having sex?
Yes, as a youth for masturbation and a couple times as an adult by my wife. As for having sex? We have children. Need I say more.

77. Have you had or do you want to have a threesome (or foursome, or more)?
I have been in several types of group scenarios. I am particularly fond of MFM with my wife.

78. Do you own any sex toys?
Oh, yes. A whole case of them.

79. Have you ever used a homemade sex toy, or a regular object as a sex toy?
Yep. I was rather proud of a carrot dildo I carved back in the day. And so many things have made their way up my ass throughout the years.

80. Can a dildo feel as good as a penis (assuming the person with the penis is good at what they do)?
Absolutely, maybe better. Reason being: When you find the right dildo the only thing making a dick better is the energy you have to spend to wield the dildo.

81. What are your favorite positions?
With my wife, we have a usual position that is our usual because it’s a favorite. She lays on her back and raises the leg closer to me. I’m on my side facing her. I hold her one leg that is closest to me while straddling her other prone leg and lay into her. I also enjoy when a woman is on top of me, her chest down, arms pulled into her chest, held tight as I jackhammer her cunt.

82. Your most embarrassing sexual experience?
The first time my wife and I swung. I don’t know what happened, but there I was at about 55 percent rigidity for the duration of a couple hours. All while in a huge luxury suite and while banging a woman who looked like Elizabeth Hurley. In the meantime, her guy had my wife in the other room, having fucked her bareback the whole time and having cum inside her a few times.

83. Worst place/time you've ever gotten a boner?
When called to the front of the classroom in seventh grade. Come on. What guy’s story isn’t the same?

84. Have you ever had any genital injuries?
Yes. I had a hernia in my toddler days and surgery to fix a distended testicle. Not to mention the several times I had my crotch injured by classmates, both accidentally and intentionally.

85. Have you ever had a sexually transmitted infection?
Yes, Chlamydia.

86. Have you ever had a non-sexually transmitted genital infection (yeast infection, etc)?
Yes, but nothing contagious. I have psoriasis and it hits my dick on occasion.

87. If you lack a penis, have you ever tried to pee standing up?
I don’t lack a penis.

88. If you lack a penis, how familiar are you with how you look down there?
I don’t lack a penis.

89. Do you think you're "good" at sex, or your performance/skill could use improvement?
While I believe I’m good at sex, I also believe that everyone including masters can use improvement. Always room for improvement.

90. Have you "sexted" (whether through text messaging or IM chat)?
Yes.

91. Have you masturbated for or with someone via webcam?
Yes.

92. Have you have phone sex?
Yes.

93. If you had the opposite set of genitals for a day, name 5 things you would do.
FIrst, I would masturbate to know the experience. Second, I would have sex. Third, I would have sex. Fourth, I would have sex. Fifth, I would have a fifty-guy gangbang..

94. What's something you like about your body?
My face.

95. What's something you dislike about your body?
My gut.

96. What body parts do you find the sexiest?
My cock and legs.

97. What was your most recent sexual thought?
About drugging my wife and her squealing with delight the next day when I tell her of all the things I did to her while she was out.

98. Do you ever just play with your boobs, penis, labia, etc.?
I’m always futzing with my crotch.

99. When was the last time you touched your genitals?
About ten minutes ago.

100. Do you often imagine people naked?
Quite often.

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