1. What is your favorite food and drink? Please, tell a tale of how these two items came to be so special to you. We’d love to hear about it:
The one food item that persists over the years is pizza. I know it may sound cliché, and at times, other foods surpass it as my favored consumable. Despite having had worked for way too many years in the pizza industry in my past, I still love it. My favorite drink? I know this sounds boring, but water is my all-time favorite. It always, always satisfies and refreshes me.2. Have you ever incorporated the two items above or any food and/or drink into your sex play, like that certain famous film with the numbers in its title? Do tell; don’t leave out any saucy details:
Pizza, no. Water, yes, but not in a “use of beverage for sex” sort of way. I have exceptionally limited food sex play because my wife doesn’t enjoy the experience and my lovers have been too fixated on feeling my dick inside them to explore food play.3. Do you have a food/drink-related pet name for your lover? Does your lover have one for you? What are they? For example: pumpkin pie, tall drink of water…
I do not have a food\drink-related pet name for my lover and never have. I do have a mutual pet name one of my wife’s friends and I call each other: Pumpkin.4. Please complete this dramatic scene from a one-act play I’m working on for my local community theatre:
MAN: Do you like rain?
WOMAN: What? Rain, as in the weather rain?
MAN: No, i meant bread. I said rain, but I meant bread. I’m nervous around pretty women. Do you like bread?
WOMAN: Um, mister, did you know that my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard?
MAN: I know. I know. I drink your milkshake…
I have nothing to add to this. Sorry, but the dialogue is ludicrous. Even if it was a real life conversation, it would still be pretty ridiculous.5. Garrison Keillor once said, “Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.” Do you agree or disagree? Make an argument for one against the other:
I disagree. Corn can be okay, and fresh sweet corn even better. But, for the same reason I prefer my “pie” hairless, I don’t care for stringy things caught between my teeth. Also, you can do sexual things with corn, but it can be bumpy and rigid, lacking the smoothness and flexibility of the true phallus. And let’s face it, both can be sloppy as hell, but at least with sex, you come out of the experience a little bit more fit versus a little bit heavier.Bonus: You have a best friend; this person has been your best friend since kindergarten. You are eating a bag of Cheetos on a park bench next to this friend. Without warning, the friend smacks you across the face and exclaims, “Give me back my Cheetos, bitch!” What is your immediate reaction?
There is, of course, an immediate flash of anger as will happen whenever one receives a smack across the face without warning. But the demand? That would send me into fits of laughter, fits so strong that I’d be in danger of spilling the whole bag leaving us both without any Cheetos, or testing our pride as we try not to grovel on the ground to collect the spilled treasures.