Tuesday, August 20, 2013

TMI Tuesday: August 20, 2013 - The Men of TMI Tuesday

Questions for this week’s TMI Tuesday were submitted by various TMI Tuesday male participants.

1. Advizor: http://advizortoall.blogspot.com
I once overheard in a bathroom, “There is nothing as overrated as sex or underrated as a good bowel movement.” Discuss.
The bathroom sounds like the most likely place to overhear such a statement. Just might have to start writing that on bathroom stalls. I’m not particularly sold on sex as overrated, but good bowel movements are definitely underrated. At least, they don’t get the press time they typically deserve. Most likely, that’s the fault of our negative relationship with shit. It’s easy to imagine that those who suffer chronic constipation would agree wholly with the statement.
2. the late phoenix: http://thelatephoenix.blogspot.com/
Friendship lasts longer than cumming. Which of your online friends that you’ve never met would you like to meet in real life? With which do you think you could become life-long REAL friends, actual friends, like going out with to coffee and the movies, gossiping with, kissing on the forehead, hugging, loving?
It’s been a long while since I’ve had anything resembling an online friendship outside of OkCupid. There are some people on Tumblr that I believe would make good friends, but I never pursued them and don’t know their handles off hand. There have been the occasional Twitter friendships that have heated up to levels that were no less intense due to distance. And in the far past, boards and forums afforded a few friends. But, it’s been a minimum of two years since I’ve had anything resembling an online relationship outside of OkCupid. As for OkCupid, I have had some close calls on that site, until three weeks ago. I’m happy to report that I’m doing pretty much everything on the “Actual friends” list above with a woman I met on there. This relationship feels real and leggy, as if it will stride on for years to come.
3. John D Stories: http://www.johndstories.co.uk/
In a parallel universe, whom out of your blog or Twitter followers would you most like to spend a steamy evening with? What would you do? Why them?
Via Tumblr, I would most definitely choose to spend a steamy evening with fuckmylittlecunt.  She is a thick submissive of Japanese and Chinese ancestry who loves the DD\lg lifestyle. She likes it rough, wants her Daddy to do the very things I would love to do to her, wants him to call her the names that describe exactly who she is to him, wants him to push her past the brink only to grab her by the wrist at the last moment, to pull her back out of the abyss, to hold her, to pet her, to kiss the top her head, to shush her and tell her, “It’s okay. Daddy has you. You’re safe.”
4. Virtual Sin: http://virtualsin.wordpress.com/
(multi-part question)
a. What method of stimulation (intercourse, oral, manual, toy, whatever) gives you the strongest orgasm?
My strongest orgasms come from jerking off by hand while I have a fat dildo or butt plug buried in my ass. Pulling out the anal toy is tricky. Properly time, it will intensify the orgasm exponentially. Poorly timed can wreck a cum. Too late is better than too soon. 
b. With what method of stimulation do you get the most orgasms?
The most orgasms? Guess that depends on which kind. I’ll break them into two types: penile and anal. Overall, I get the most orgasms (assgasms actually) from anal masturbation.
From penile orgasms, the only method of stimulation that gives me the most orgasms is persistence. The will to go on after I’ve already blown, once, twice, three times. Relatedly, I used to see how many times I could cum in an hour. My record was five times. As a man, that’s pretty fucking incredible. By the end of round 4, I was officially “dry heaving.” 
From anal orgasm, I get the most orgasms lying on my back with my legs in the air as I use my Fat Boy dildo strapped on a custom board I made and call the “boning board.” Once I get them going, I have an assgasm (which is usually accompanied by some semen ejaculation) on average of about once every three minutes. I’m at a point in my life where if forced to choose between only one or the other, I would choose the assgasms over any penile related orgasms. 
c. If the answer to a is different from the answer to b, what’s wrong with your life?
I don’t understand how the difference between “strongest” and “most” orgasms relate to one another or how they relate to some failure. There’s plenty that’s wrong with my life. That I won’t deny. But, none of those issues relate to the differing answers to a and b. 
5. Jon Pressick: http://sex-in-words.blogspot.com
Would you rather have a life where you only had sex once a year for 2 minutes or where you have to have sex, every day for a minimum of 2 hours?
Oh gawd that’s a hard question. At this stage of my life, I can realistically state that “every day for a minimum of 2 hours” isn’t exactly all that terrific. It gets to be like a chore. “Once a year for 2 minutes”? That’s not even worth it. Hmmm…. Assuming I can still play with myself, I’d choose once a year for 2 minutes. 
Having done the cuckolding thing with the allowance of tending to my own needs, I can understand the appeal of such an arrangement. Honestly, for the past few years with my wife gone for stretches and no girlfriends in my life, I’ve come to know what it feels like to go without sex for several weeks. I went up to six weeks at one time. The funny thing is that my immediate thought every time I fucked for the for the first time in weeks was that it didn’t feel nearly as good as the last time I jerked off. Eventually sex gets to feeling better than stroking it, more exciting, and it becomes the desired form of penile ejaculation. But having had this experience of sexless periods of time, and having grown quite comfortable with being a sexual hermit, happy to please myself, I’ll have to go with “once a year for 2 minutes.” 
Bonus:
Nero: https://hersecretlibrary.wordpress.com
Is there anyone on your partner’s side of the family you find hot? If you could hook up with them without anyone finding out (ever!) would you?
At one time, I wanted to and planned to fuck my sister-in-law. We never got our window. At the time, it was for the thrill of it. After all, my wife fucked one of my brothers. My wife would get off to me saying that I was imagining her as her sister, fucking her bareback and cumming as deep inside her as possible, telling her this was not just sex talk, this was going to happen the very next time her sister and I saw each other. My wife’s pussy would explode every single time and spur me to spill my load. But these days, blech. She’s a nasty person on the inside, mean spirited, and all traces of any physical cuteness long since faded. Mostly, it’s been her lifestyle and the way she treats my nieces and nephew that turned me off to her. So, nope. I don’t really want to fuck any of my limited number of in-laws. 

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